Five Postgame Takes

1. That was like eating brussels sprouts: a tough way to get your nutrition. That was truly one of the most schizophrenic games I’ve ever seen. But it's hard to argue with a victory.

2. You had to love Sapp’s titanic sacks. You had to love LaMont starting with an evasive two-step and finishing with a little guitar. You had to love Porter streaking down the sidelines, leaving Ms. Pac Man in the dust.

3. Randy Cross is just yet another hack in a long line of anti-Raiders television commentators. Their voices always rise a few octaves whenever events force them to actually praise the Raiders, probably because they're squirming in their seats. They’re quick to criticize and generalize when it comes to the Raiders, but never canonize Raiders players like they do others (listening to the ESPN crew tonight, for example, they were about to elect Willis McGahee to the Hall of Fame for rushing for 130 yards and no touchdowns in a losing effort—I’m sure they would do the same for LaMont Jordan).

4. The Raiders and the Titans secondaries are young and relatively inexperienced. Fine, but if you’ve made it to the NFL, you should know how to tackle. That’s a non-negotiable job requirement, isn’t it? Do actors forget their lines after they've made it to Broadway? Shame on both teams. In terms of tackling, that was pathetic.

5. I said that after this game the Raiders would be 3-4, and so it is. After Sunday, the Chargers and Chiefs are definitely within our sights. The Broncos are playing out of their minds, but a visit to the Black Hole should cure that. Return to Glory: on schedule.

Haiku: Raiders 34 / Titans 25

Music City, name
that tune—Sapp on drums, LaMont
on banjo…‘Night y’all!

Gear of The Week

Sometimes you just need to step out and send the message: Oakland Raiders, in your face, straight up like a shot of whiskey.

For such occasions, Raider Take recommends the Raiders Formation Fleece Sweatshirt by Reebok. The greatest logo in sports gets sleek treatment here, with contrast side panels adding just an accent of extra style to the timeless shield-on-black motif. The Raiders shield on this sweatshirt rendered in high-quality tackle twill, not a cheap silkscreen.

To purchase this classic, click here

Raiders Fan 101

I’ll never forget my first game back after the Raiders returned to Oakland. The Coliseum lot was nearly full and we were having a tough time finding a parking spot, until some dude jumped out and waved us down. He and his buddies promptly cleared their barbecue and chairs out of the way so we could park. That’s the kind of neighborly Raiders fan story you read in the media every day, isn’t it?

Fast forward to last week. My cousin and I ended up parked next to a guy and his teenage son. They had driven up from San Bernardino County. They were cool cats. They gave us hot dogs off their grill. I could go on with similar stories…My point is that you may be reading Raider Take as a curious observer, and not necessarily a member, of the Raider Nation. You may have never heard the good news. You may have been fed so much propaganda that you are afraid to attend a Raiders game. You may have read this recent article in the San Francisco Chronicle, which tries, yet characteristically fails, to be positive. You may be on the fence, unsure and uncertain. Well, it’s time to get off the fence. It’s time to join the Raider Nation. Here’s what you need to know:

1. Check your baggage at the door. You have no doubt absorbed many lies and exaggerations about Raiders fans, whose passion and intensity are too often mistaken for crudeness and criminality. This misimpression has been perpetuated by lazy sportswriters and commentators who don’t like to let research get in the way of an easy deadline or a cheap laugh. Leave this baggage behind, open your mind and see for yourself. You will be pleasantly surprised.

2. The Coliseum is perfectly safe. That said, don’t look for trouble in any crowd of 50,000, because you can always find it. That’s not a Raiders issue, it’s a common sense issue. It applies to 49ers games, Britney Spears concerts or wherever. On the off chance that trouble finds you, take it easy and walk away. Swallow your pride, not your teeth.

3. Have fun and be yourself. At last week’s game, my cousin and I met three Raiders fans from England. One was dressed in a long white and red Anglican smock, and he was stoked about having just met Gorilla Rilla. That must have been a sight. The point is that you can come in a t-shirt or dressed as a space alien. As long as you bleed silver and black, the Raider Nation embraces you.

4. Learn as you go. Raiders fans are passionate about their heritage, which includes frequent arcane references to things like the Sea of Hands, Mad Stork and Immaculate Reception. Don't worry if you don't have a clue about this stuff. There are no pop quizzes here. As Raiders fans, we are proud of the past, but we consider you part of our future, even if you’ve never heard of Heidi.

In closing, consider yourself cordially invited to join the unparalleled fans of the greatest team in the National Football League. We'll see you at the game.

Five Postgame Takes

1. Rumor has it that when LaMont Jordan pled his case for more carries, he waved a printout of Raider Take in Norv’s face (as reported by the National Enquirer). Indeed, Jordan got his carries, which he, I and all of you in the Raider Nation have been begging for…And the results were awesome. This wasn’t just a matter of offensive balance. It was about confidence. The Raiders didn’t score until the beginning of the second quarter, and it was only a field goal. Yet they stuck with the run and put up 35 points thereafter. They didn’t start flinging the ball in desperation. They hung tough and literally ran over the Bills.

2. I would like to think that the Raiders, with their receiving talent, could fling the ball in desperation and get some results. But that simply has not been the case this year. Against the Bills, the coaching staff quit beating its head against the Kerry Collins wall. Collins didn’t have a ton of throws or yards in this game, but he played with poise and precision, which is more important. Porter dropped a beautiful long pass for a touchdown, so let’s add that to Collins’ accomplishments for the day. He even made a couple of smart runs instead of frantically chucking the ball out of bounds. I think many of us had visions of Collins turning into vintage Culpepper when Moss came to town. But what we saw on Sunday was Collins in his comfort zone, supported by an assertive running attack, playing within realistic expectations.

3. Zack Crockett finally got his carries, too. Sure, six of his seven carries were on the last drive, but they were money nonetheless. Zack was atomic. He crushed the Bills. And when he did his crazy rooster dance after reaching the endzone, the place went off the hook. This guy plays with true fire, and he's a class act, too.

4. Speaking of that last score, it was great to see Coach Turner bare his teeth and ram it down their throats instead of playing Mr. Nice Guy at the end of the game. The Bills, particularly Willis McGahee, had it coming.

5. After the Titans game, the Raiders’ record will be 3-4, and they will have wind in their sails. The Return to Glory is being paved right now.

Long Bomb from England

Wielding the first full-length Anglican smock in the history of the Oakland Coliseum, not to mention a silver and black Union Jack and some serious Raider Nation chops, longtime Raiders fans Dave and Keith came all the way from England to watch the Bills get spanked on Sunday. We at Raider Take were honored to meet Dave and Keith—special thanks to Raider Nation Podcast for a righteous U.K.-flavored tailgate.

During the game, we spotted Dave and Keith across the field, banners draped over the wall just east of the Black Hole, on their feet and verbally kicking the Bills back to Buffalo. That, friends, is the definition of THE RAIDER NATION!

Haiku: Raiders 38 / Bills 17

What you talking ‘bout,
Willis? Shut your trap and learn
from LaMont and Zack!

News You Can't Use (Bonus Edition)

Raider Take’s new “News You Can’t Use” section is back already. Let's call it a bonus edition.

In this column in the San Francisco Chronicle, we get the following: “One of the dangers, of course, is the idea that (the Raiders) could lose to the Bills and then just go south. This would not be a first for this team over the last decade, and the available signs all point to look out below. But football is a short-attention-span-theatre sort of thing, and a victory would perhaps convince the dwindling Raider fan base that, well, maybe things don't bite quite as much as they seem.”

The “dwindling Raider fan base”? And that statement is based on what, exactly? Don’t tell me it’s based on the fact that the Coliseum isn’t sold out this week. That’s a separate and ongoing topic. The verb is “dwindling” and the subject is “fan base.” Clear? Now prove it.

Of course, the author doesn’t prove it, but rather treats it as a simple fait accompli upon which to advance a position that is loaded with literary pyrotechnics yet light on substance. And that, Raiders fans, is news you can’t use.

Pregame Non-Prediction for 10/23

After forecasting the first quarter of the season with Nostradamus-like accuracy, Raider Take went down in flames last week. I said that that LaDainian Tomlinson would not score against the Raiders, after which L.T. promptly scored via run, catch and pass. Thus, Raider Take has temporarily benched itself from the prediction business due to poor performance (more proof that I am not the coach of the Raiders). I do, however, "foresee" the Raiders trouncing the Bills and dispatching them back to the East Coast with a lingering taste of Oakland dirt.

News You Can't Use

A growing trend in the mainstream media is “news you can use.” You know, stuff like how to maintain the psychological health of your cat, how to figure out if Coca Cola is bad for you by reading the nutrition label, etc. Thus, Raider Take is inspired to launch an irregular (and irreverent) series called “News You Can’t Use.” If you’ve read my earlier posts, such as this and this, you probably saw it coming. These entries are not intended as personal attacks on journalists, but rather to promote fairness, accuracy and intellectual rigor in media coverage of the Oakland Raiders and related topics. After all, it's bloggers who are eroding journalistic standards, right?

Let’s start things off with the following snippet from this article in the San Jose Mercury News: “On paper, the Raiders' running numbers are not much worse than a year ago. After five games in 2004, the Raiders were averaging 102 yards per game. In 2005, they are averaging 71. The difference is, new running back LaMont Jordan has not been the major threat he was expected to be. He's averaging just 3.6 yards per carry.”

Since when is a 30 percent drop in production “not much worse"? I'll tell you what, you give me 102 dollars, and I'll give you 71, and we'll call it even.

And that, Raiders fans, is news you can’t use. If you see anything out there that you think qualifies as News You Can't Use, please feel free email me at raidertake@yahoo.com or just post it in the comments section.

If It's Broke...

We’ve all heard that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But the opposite is also true: If it’s broke, fix it. The Raiders are broken, and they need to fix it. Fast.

Among other things, the ground game is still a mess. The football equivalent of duct tape was applied against the Cowboys, when Jordan got some yardage and a score. But based on Sunday’s game against the Chargers, the duct tape is already peeling.

Where is Zack Crockett? The Colts have James, but they still run Rhodes. The Chiefs have Holmes, but they still run Johnson. Crockett is a proven bruiser. He averaged 4.8 yards per carry last year. He is averaging 4.0 yards per carry (which is more than Jordan) this year. However, he has only carried the ball nine times in 2005. That’s right, nine times total. You’d think if you were having problems with your running game, you might try to mix it up? The aforementioned Rhodes and Johnson each carried the ball more than nine times in a single game over this past weekend.

LaMont Jordan is correct: he needs more touches. But so does Crockett. They all do. Right now, the running game is anemic and one-dimensional, without any commitment, confidence or creativity from the sidelines. Pass completions to Jordan are nice, but they're no ticket to a balanced offense.

In an earlier post, I also took Coach Turner to task for wimpy playcalling prior to halftime. Here we go again. What’s with not exhausting our timeouts at the end of the half, to get the ball back and press for some sort of score? Why such contentment in the face of failure? If you don’t have the lead, don’t play like you’re protecting a lead. Better yet, don’t play like that, ever.

I could go on and on about the awful gameplanning for LaDainian Tomlinson, the ill-timed penalties, Kerry Collins, the officials, blah, blah, blah. But this is a blog, not The Brothers Karamazov. Also, I don’t break down game film for a living. So don’t come at me with this, “If you’re so smart, why aren’t you a coach?” crap, which I’ve gotten here before. Sportswriters aren’t coaches, either, but they get paid for asking relevant questions. It’s the same here—just with more creativity and no pay.

I may not be a coach, but logic always prevails: if it’s broke, fix it. What are the Raiders going to do this week to fix it? The same old thing doesn’t cut it now. It’s too late for that. The benefit of the doubt has expired. We in the Raider Nation need a plan, and the plan needs to be published by Coach Turner, to all of us who will be there this Sunday against the Bills. We are waiting, and the clock is ticking…

Haiku: Raiders 14 / Chargers 27

L.T unchecked, Moss
down, offense tattered—pride and
poise now on the line.

Gear of The Week

While things have been a bit balmy here in California, it’s just a matter of time before the autumn wind starts blowing, bringing with it the distinctive whiff of I-880 and roast pig as you enjoy a righteous tailgate at the Coliseum. A beer only warms the heart. You need something else to warm your noggin.

Hence, Reebok's Raiders Reversible Knit Skull Cap as my Gear of The Week. Let’s face it, every Raiders fan needs a skull cap in his or her repertoire, and you can’t go wrong with this one. You can opt between silver and black as the primary color, with the required Raiders shield always at the fore. The ribbed knit construction ensures that it won’t feel like sandpaper on your dome.

Best of all, you can get it for just $15.70 plus shipping. To purchase, click here

Double Haiku: Change in The Weather

Qualcomm rains black and
gold; nice job, Bolts “fans”—must be
that fair weather there...

Here blows the wind; dare
you wear your baby blues in
the house that Al built?

The Streak Stops Here

When LaDainian Tomlinson's streak ends on Sunday, mine will continue. Prior to the Chiefs game, I dodged a lot of arrows for writing that the Chiefs’ “revamped” defense was overrated and overhyped. Would you care to resume that discussion now, Chiefs fans? I also predicted a score for the Chiefs game that would have been dead accurate in a parallel universe where the zebras aren't out to screw the Raiders.

Next, I was downright Nostradamus-like in my Eagles game prediction. Finally, I predicted the Raiders would dismantle the Cowboys’ protection scheme, and that four sacks of Drew Bledsoe would signal a turning of the tide for both teams. Voila—four sacks exactly.

I now apply Raider Take’s demonstrated extrasensory powers to the upcoming Chargers game. Allow me to clarify one ground rule before we proceed: you will never see a Raider loss predicted here. Won't happen. As far as I'm concerned, we're 16-0 every year until a given gameday proves me wrong. Just as I reserve the right to be critical, I cherish the opportunity to be faithful.

On that note, I predict that the Raiders will beat the Chargers in yet another close game. I am confident that the defense will continue to hang tough, and that the offense will begin to see added liftoff. Most important, I predict that the Raiders defense will be ironclad against the run in the red zone and put an end LaDainian Tomlinson's streak of 17 straight games with a touchdown. Obviously, I'm way out on a limb here (not only given the streak, but what LT has done to us before). Fine, I can take the heat, because I'm a Raiders fan. Put me down for the Raiders discharging the Chargers by a score of 27 to 23.

Listen Up, Raiders Haters

If you are a Raiders fan, you have probably been told that you are living in the past. You have been told that the Raiders of yesteryear are irrelevant to the Raiders of today. You have been told that the mystique is gone, and that you should get over it.

Well, tough nuts, folks, because we won’t get over it. The past happened, and it was wild, outrageous, innovative and unprecedented—and it yielded three Super Bowl titles. Around here, “the past” is called roots, heritage and legacy, all of which are woven into the fabric of the Raider Nation, then and now.

But that’s not the end of the argument. The insinuation is that Raiders fans are too dumb to notice that free agency, rules changes, political correctness and other developments have inevitably changed the game of football. The implication is that Raiders fans don’t just rightfully celebrate the 1970s, but are in fact naively waiting for the second coming of the 1970s.

Consider this quote from an article on the Raiders published a few days ago in USA Today: “These are hardly the same Raiders who used to dominate the AFC West and, in some years, the entire league…The so-called Raider mystique is a forgotten memory, like some pop hit from the '70s.”

Am I missing something? Didn’t the Raiders just dominate the AFC West for three straight seasons, culminating in a Super Bowl berth in 2003? When is the last time the Chiefs, Chargers or Broncos went to the Super Bowl? Give me a moment to find an archaeologist and I’ll get you an answer.

It’s a favorite anti-Raiders tactic, this denial of the 2000s, as if it didn’t happen. Then, once you point out that it did happen, whether they like it or not, they resort to their last gasp of propaganda: that Al Davis had nothing to do with it, that it was all the result of a renegade Chucky working outside the reach of Mr. Davis.

Hey, since when does a leader get all of the blame and none of the credit? Who hired Gruden? Who signed and paid Gannon and Rice? Who drafted Brown and Porter? Who are you to criticize Mr. Davis for the bad years and then deny him his great ones?

This is all one thing coming from a Broncos or 49ers fan. After all, consider the source. But it is particularly vile coming from media types who, when they’re not repeating lazy biased takes against the Raiders, are bleating about their own so-called objectivity and inquisitiveness.

Listen up, Raiders haters: The mystique remains. The man upstairs is still dressed in brilliant white. He has engineered five Super Bowl berths in four of the past five decades. As Raiders fans, our roots run deep, but we are more than ready for the future.

In Praise of Greg Papa

Thanks to the wonders of Sirius satellite radio, and while catching up on some long-overdue household projects amid the Raiders bye week, I took an audio tour of gamecasts around the league on Sunday. I now have even more respect for the Raiders radio team of Greg Papa and Tom Flores.

Sirius radio, as you may know, enables you to tune into every NFL game, and to listen to the localized broadcasts of either participating team (except for the Titans radio network, which refused to opt in). But while it's fun to eavesdrop around the league, it’s not always the most pleasurable listening experience.

The Raiders radio team is like a fine cup of coffee: smooth, rich and satisfying. But much of the league’s radio personnel are like the stuff you get at the mini mart: thin, tinny and brash. Greg Papa moves the game along with clarity and purpose. Tom Flores colors the game from a vantage of true insight and experience. We are lucky to have them.

And nothing—nothing—beats Papa’s signature call of TOUCHDOWN RRRRRAIDERS!

Note: If you are considering Sirius radio, click on “comments” below, where I have added some personal thoughts and recommendations.

Gear of The (Bye) Week

Sure, every Raiders fan would like to have an authentic team jersey for gameday, but not all of us can afford one, as they typically fall in the $200 range. What good is your authentic jersey if, after purchasing it, you're too poor to buy a ticket to the game or a pitcher of beer at the corner sports bar? On the other hand, those thin silkscreened replicas for $70 aren't exactly a deal, either.

One solution to consider is the new Reebok EQT "Replithentic" Jersey for $99. The EQT "delivers superb value by combining quality and details that approach those of an authentic jersey with affordability rivaling that of a replica jersey." Thus, you get the look of an authentic yet you save enough dough to buy a Raiders ticket, Coliseum dog and a tall cold one.

To check out a selection of Raiders EQT jerseys, click here
Note that if you click on Woodson, you also get an option for Moss.

Haiku: Kerry's Conundrum

Visions of Snake and
Mad Bomber fade; no picks, true—
but few TDs, too.

Go Long and Prosper

Apparently, Kerry Collins and the Associated Press don't read Raider Take. I can forgive Kerry, as he may have more imporant things to do. But what's the AP's excuse?

In this AP article, which won't win any awards for critical thinking, Kerry says the following about his lack of interceptions: "I'm definitely more conscious of it. I know this, that if I don't throw interceptions, we have a heck of a better chance to win football games. It's simple, but it's true."

Au contraire, amigo. You need to be less conscious of it. Please read my following take on this subject. To make it easier, I'm even going to send you a free subscription to Raider Take, which you can keep close to your playbook. Go long and prosper!

Wanted: More Interceptions

Kerry Collins needs to throw more interceptions. Okay, call me nuts, or worse. But hear me out first...

Considering their receiving weaponry, the Raiders should be wielding an awe-inspiring air game by now. Sure, the passing offense has racked up some yardage and stats. But I’m talking about touchdowns and domination. There’s nothing wrong with high expectations when you have Randy Moss, Jerry Porter and Doug Gabriel on your side. I’ve never heard Mr. Davis preach, “Don’t worry, be happy” when it comes to not scoring points, even in victory.

Which brings me back to my thesis regarding interceptions. The total lack of any interceptions this year confirms to me that Kerry Collins and Coach Turner are playing things too safe, to the point that their cultivated avoidance of mistakes is creating an unintended avoidance of touchdowns (I don’t want to play Dr. Phil, but do you think Kerry Collins might be especially anxious to get the “mistake prone” monkey off his back?). The Raiders are one of only two teams in the NFL that has yet to throw an interception, and the other, Pittsburgh, has played only three games so far.

That’s what happens when you don’t throw the ball to Randy Moss in the red zone. The other team doesn’t catch it, and neither does Randy.

The 2005 Raiders offense wasn't built to rely on the defense to save the day, week after week. It was built to score touchdowns. Lots of them. This may mean taking chances instead of kicking field goals. I am not suggesting that the Raiders just start recklessly winging the ball. But with the Chargers (86 points over their last two games) coming to town, Kerry and Norv had better stop driving their Ferrari like a Ford Escort.

New Raiders DVD Coming Soon

Since I’m preaching mostly to the choir here, I assume you already have your own copy of the epic Oakland Raiders Complete History DVD (if not, shame on you). Now comes what appears to be another exciting entry into the Raiders oeuvre—Super Bowl Champions: Oakland Raiders.

This DVD will be released on November 8: "Relive the most celebrated moments from the Silver and Black's three Super Bowl conquests...This supercharged DVD features hours of exclusive game footage along with candid interviews and expert commentary from the most unforgettable figures inside the Raider huddle."

The DVD is now available for pre-order at amazon.com at a discounted price of $13.99. To check it out, click here

Five Postgame Takes

1. During his show on Sirius Radio last week, Keyshawn Johnson said that if the Cowboys shut down the Raiders early and jumped into the lead, they could take the crowd out of the game and even get the home fans to turn on their Raiders. I kid you not, he actually said this. Well, he certainly did his part to advance his crackpot theory. He burned the Raiders for 16 yards on one catch.

2. Where’s the damn ball, Keyshawn? It’s in Drew’s hands, who’s in Sapp’s hands.

3. Something is still wrong with the offense. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear that in the wake of our first victory. I don’t, either. But something just isn’t right, and we both know it. We know the game should not have been that close. For a clue to the problem, see my next take.

4. Last week, with 1:21 on the clock, Tom Brady marched the Patriots down the field to win the game against the Steelers. This week, with 1:09 on the clock before the end of the half, and with Randy Moss on his side, Coach Turner and company orchestrated the following gutsy drive (click on "comments" below for further clarification and justification for this take):

34-L.Jordan left end to OAK 18 for 4 yards (94-D.Ware).
2-6-OAK 18 (:50) 34-L.Jordan left end to OAK 18 for no gain (99-C.Canty).
3-6-OAK 18 (:16) 5-K.Collins pass to 34-L.Jordan pushed ob at OAK 23 for 5 yards (99-C.Canty).

5. Drew Bledsoe chucked his helmet. The Tuna gnashed his teeth. You could just see it on their faces: the Raiders defense just kicked their butt on Sunday. Sure, there were a few lapses, but 13 points is 13 points, and you can’t ask for more on that side of the ball. Once the offense clicks, watch out!

Haiku: Raiders 19 / Cowboys 13

Nice throw, Drew—of your
helmet; zebras can’t nix your
taste of East Bay dirt.

Pregame Stat of The Week for 10/02

The Raiders led the NFL in 2003 with 134 penalties. The Raiders led the NFL in 2004 with 134 penalties. In 2005, the Raiders are now on pace to set an NFL record of 192 penalties. Thus, penalties are my pregame stat of the week, right? Nah, that would be too easy. Anyhow, I already used that one.

Okay, so how about the running attack, since it was the subject of my latest rant? No, for some reason I’m not worried about that. I’ve just got this sudden zen-like feeling that, somewhere in the bowels of Alameda, Norv finally dropped the screwdriver and picked up a sledgehammer, and that the Raiders offense is going to light Dallas up like a Texas-sized Christmas tree.

No, my pregame stat of the week has to do with Drew Bledsoe and how many times we knock this Cowboy off his horse. Why has this human statue been so successful so far this year? Because Parcells and gang have put together an effective protection scheme that allows Bledsoe sufficient time and comfort to make clean strikes (for example, you rarely see them with three wide, and that’s because they’re stuffing the front to protect their statue). He is seeing the field well and connecting with a variety of targets.

Now come the Raiders, who have done a progressively good job of exerting pressure on the quarterback. Now it's time for a breakout game. There's no reason they can't disrupt and dismantle the Cowboys’ protection scheme. I see four sacks as being the key number, and that’s my pregame stat of the week. If Drew eats Coliseum grass four times, it will signify a turning of the tide for both teams. I’m banking on it. Put me down for Raiders 34, Cowboys 17.

Parting facts: The Raiders have only two sacks this year. Bledsoe has been sacked only six times this year. But the Raiders sacked him seven times in one game when he was with Buffalo last year. Four is a reasonable target this week.